If I was a horse...

...they'd take me out back and shoot me.

The litany of physical issues and aches & pains is just getting ridiculous for someone my age. I know some of you reading will see this as proof that my "healthy vegan diet" must be baloney, but you'd be wrong. First off, I don't eat as strictly as I should and do suffer some consequences as a result. Secondly, if I didn't eat as well as I do, I'd be in a much bigger world of hurt: constant sinusitis with blinding headaches, debilitating foot pain from the plantar fasciitis, digestive system upset, skin breakouts, and more.

I seem to be more prone to structural (muscular & skeletal) injury than to illness, although the ongoing vertigo problems are giving that belief a run for its money. Yep, the vertigo is back. Actually, that's not entirely accurate as I'm not having the sensation of the room spinning. What I do have, almost every day to varying degrees, is dizziness. Some mornings, it is enough to send me to the bathroom to hover over the toilet in case the nausea "steps it up." Other mornings, the dizziness is not so bad but its presence is a constant reminder that it could return full-force at any moment.

Its constant presence is hampering my productivity. When my head hurts and I feel unbalanced, it is hard to think, make decisions, or function. Despite my desire to be biking more (when it's not 107 degrees outside), dizziness stops me. Is this an excuse? Perhaps, but after my recent fall off the bike, I think it is a reasonable precaution for now. Falling off a bike, especially near traffic, can result in severe injuries.

On the other hand, if I'm going to have to live with this damn dizziness, I figure I need to learn to function as well as I can. I'm trying to keep up with my life, although I'm taking more breaks to rest. I've even forced myself to go to my self-defense classes, but taken the precaution of letting the instructor know that I may have to step away from an activity or exercise if I feel unstable. (Physically, not mentally. Ha!) In the meantime, I'm revisiting my shoulder stretches and exercises on the assumption that inflammation there may be triggering the dizziness since I am not eating any foods that should be affecting me negatively.

Do they shoot horses that whine too much?

My broken toe has worsened in the last few days. It hadn't been bothering me all that much, only hurting it I touched it (Obvious solution: don't touch it!) or flexed it too much stepping off a curb. However, my new orthotics that should resolve the Morton's neuroma - on the same foot, of course - seem to have shifted my stance in such a way that my toe is constantly aggravated. So now I am limping from pain and staggering from the dizziness at the same time.

Don't place any bets on me, folks; I won't be winning this race.

I shouldn't complain as these ailments are, hopefully, not permanent and they are not anywhere near as bad as conditions many others suffer through every day. My primary concern is they significantly lower my productivity, especially combined with other aggravating minor concerns such as a painful rib out of place, a sprained thumb that is not improving, the TMJ, and a wrist issue that impedes my ability to knead much bread. And, as anyone with chronic pain will tell you, ever-present pain is wearing. The effort of dealing with it constantly drains your energy, your motivation, and your joy.

How do you get the damn pesky inner voice to shut the heck up. It's reminding me that I have a book on my shelf that was written expressly for the purpose of helping people deal with chronic pain: Full Catastophe Living by Jon Kabat-Zinn. It must be time to dust it off and actually read it, cover to cover. I was introduced to the concepts in it - the use of meditation to calm the body and mind - through an 8-week course but I haven't actually read the book. Funny, I've also been avoiding finding the time to listen to the book on tape I picked up on Minding the Body, Mending the Mind which is also about meditation. Okay, okay, I get the message. It's time to start taking care of myself.....before I'm put down like a lame gymnast.