Death of a Friendship

I don't know why this is on my mind today. This friendship died years ago, a sudden and unexpected death. Perhaps it is in my thoughts because I am looking through address files so I can notify family and friends when we finally close on the house.

Here are two realities, so far apart that the death of the friendship was all but inevitable.

First, I present the actual invitation I once extended, trying to persuade my friend to come to Oregon for a visit:


BOOK YOUR VACATION AT CASA DE CHILE

Plush accommodations:

A spacious bedroom awaits you with in-room dining, where you’ll sleep gently supported by a feather-lite mattress above plush pile carpeting. Bird’s eye views greet you in the morning from the second-story picture window overlooking a wooded grove, surrounded by multi-colored displays of seasonal flowers. Enjoy your gourmet breakfast on the balcony and watch the wildlife frolic among the trees.

A canine companion will be furnished with your room, to reduce the homesick feeling one gets from leaving their own at home. Regular dispensation of treats will insure its friendliness and attentiveness to you.

A private bathroom is available, stocked with soft absorbent towels in beautiful colors. Make time in the evenings for a relaxing bubble bath for your tired legs after a long day of fun activities. You can listen to music and be surrounded by glowing candles, or you can catch up on your latest reading. Marvel in the smooth feeling left after bathing in our soft local waters.

Gourmet meals:

You will be waited on hand and foot at the Casa, with every culinary delight prepared for your enjoyment. Wake up to the smell of freshly brewed organic decaffeinated java or revel in the intense yet smooth flavors of the house’s specialty lattes. Non-dairy milks are the norm, but dairy options are available by request. Breakfast can be a simple affair of date-sweetened organic oatmeal or heartier whole-wheat blueberry pancakes with vegan “butter” and flavorful maple syrup. Seasonal organic and local fruit rounds out the breakfast platter.

Lunches are healthy meals begun with a freshly assembled salad. Organic baby greens are tossed with a light balsamic vinaigrette and your choice from a large array of available seasonal local produce. The meal continues with gourmet sandwiches, soups, or pasta dishes.

Tea provides a pleasant break in the afternoon activities. You may opt for a quiet herb tea, the serenity of a nice Japanese green tea, or spice up your day with Indian chai. Snacks, such as whole-wheat fig cookies or fresh fruit, are available.

Dinner is where the ethnic cooking skills of our Master Chef shine. Alert our staff to your ethnic preferences and we will cater our cooking specifically to your tastes. (French cooking is not included in this package.) One night may feature sushi dishes such as smoked salmon hand-rolls and Caterpillar inside-out rolls. Another night may boast local Wild Pacific salmon, grilled and then served with a sweet and spicy raspberry-chipotle sauce or peach salsa, accompanied by lightly steamed asparagus and baby red potatoes. Mexican enchiladas assembled with made-from-scratch corn tortillas and fire-roasted chiles go perfectly with the chef’s original tamale cornbread recipe. The more adventuresome foodie might try the green Mexico City-style enchiladas made with tomatillas and avocados. Good ol’ American burgers and potato salad are offered as well, with a healthy twist. The tasty burgers are cholesterol-free low-calorie soy burgers, but no one will know the difference if we don’t tell. Our potato salad is the perfect blend of tender potato chunks, hard-boiled organic eggs, mayonnaise, pickles, and seasonings.

No gourmet dinner is complete without dessert. Most of our desserts feature chocolate, as should always be the case. Nibble on fruit and cake slices dipped in velvety-smooth chocolate fondue. Or cool off with a bowl of gourmet cherry chunk chocolate almond ice cream. On hot summer days, homemade ice cream may be available. Our brownies are so chewy and delicious, you’d never suspect they are also fat-free and good for you. For those not enthused by chocolate, perhaps luscious red strawberries dripping in syrup atop mountains of whipped cream over hot homemade sweet biscuits will tempt you. Or enjoy a traditional yet delicious piece of hot apple pie ala mode.

Fun activities:

You’ll need to plan on being active during your stay in order to burn off all the calories from the great food. Brisk morning walks through a lovely park next door will jump-start your metabolism for the day. Enjoy walking amidst the forests of pines, cottonwoods, and hazelnut trees. On some trails, you may forget you’re still in the city. Choose between soft bark-chip trails along the quiet canoe trail or paved trails along the rushing local river. Watch ospreys searching for fish and Wood Ducks escorting flotillas of chicks along the water. Benches are provided frequently for resting and enjoying the scenery. People-watching provides many opportunities for laughter.

For those wanting more strenuous exercise, head out to nearby arboretum in a local park. You can stroll through the arboretum grounds at a leisurely pace or challenge yourself with the steeper hikes up to the mountain summit. Expansive views of the area are the reward for your hike, with the occasional treat of seeing a Harrier cruise by over the open meadows. Wildflowers of brilliant blues and purples will greet you around every bend. Visitors are cautioned to stay on the trail to avoid the poison oak.

Another view of the city can be had at the top of a butte right in the middle of town. No need to walk if tired, you can drive right up to the top. On the way up, you’ll pass the small cliffs popular with the local climbing crowd. It is top-roped and appears to be a fairly easy and enjoyable climb. Or visit the local climbing gym just down the road.

You can also explore the area by water. Several businesses in town offer canoe and kayak rentals. With the long and winding canoe trail, you won’t just go in circles in a big green pond. A more exciting alternative might be driving several hours to a coastal bay highly popular with the surf kayakers. Or, you can relax on a beach and watch the surfers play in the waves. There is closer coastal access as well if you simply want to enjoy the ocean’s edge and check out the tide pools for colorful starfish and anemones.

Wilderness area hikes in the Cascades are available for visitors willing to drive several hours to the wilderness area. Central Oregon also offers explorations into the High Desert, starting with Bend’s High Desert Museum, reminiscent of the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum.

However you choose to spend your time during your visit at Casa de Chile, we guarantee you’ll have a great visit!
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My invitation to her was declined. Here is what she should have sent me (as warning) when I went to visit her three years later:


CHOOSING A WORKING VACATION

Economy accommodations:

You will be allowed to sleep in a crowded office with an air mattress that must be deflated and put away each morning. No space will be provided in the closet for clothing or belongings but they must be kept out of sight. Even though several rooms will be in the process of being painted, the realtor may call to show the place and it must not look messy. Second story views showcase neighboring condos.

Remember, the rambunctious canines here are known for chewing up anything they can get their mouths on. They are trained under strict guidelines so friendly offerings of treats are highly discouraged.

Only the master bathroom may be used as the office bathroom is slated for painting...by you (the guest) and your host. Used towels and personal toiletries must be put away immediately after showering. No down time for relaxing is likely to be available, even though your host 'pre-approved' and actively encouraged taking the opportunity to visit with other friends in the area. Upon arrival, you will be discouraged from actually taking time away from painting your host's place to see these friends.

What meals?

Dinner on the night of your arrival will not be provided, despite our choice to book you on an airline known for no meal service. You can order take-out food from a busy restaurant at 10:30 pm since your host's current unemployed (by choice) status does not leave time to prepare a meal for you.

Despite full knowledge of your dietary requirements, no soymilk will be on hand for your much-needed cup of coffee in the morning and there will be no time to run to the store or coffee shop. Also, if you can't eat your cold cereal dry or with apple juice, you'll just have to go hungry until you abandon your post to see friends for lunch...as you were initially encouraged to do.

No fresh produce will be provided. Remember, as soon as you leave, your host is heading out on a two-week international vacation; it would be shameful to have food on hand that might spoil during that time. Besides, you'll be getting lunch with your friends.

When you come back from lunch in your dress clothes, you will be locked out of the house with no notice. No note. No cell phone contact. Nothing. You may sit your butt down on the cold steps and wait in the wind until your host returns with the dogs.

You would be smart to have your lunch friends take you by a grocery store for soymilk and munchies because there is no dinner plan. There is bread and Brie; too bad you can't eat dairy. After the issue is settled that you are at fault for being locked out in the cold for 45 minutes, it will be time for you to get to work painting. After all, we'll be behind schedule because you trotted off to lunch.

If you insist, a stop by a coffee shop may be possible...on your dime, of course. We will have to visit a hardware store late in the evening since no painting supplies will be acquired and no prep work will be done prior to your arrival.

Work schedule:

No fun activities are scheduled. You are coming to work and work you shall. Despite promises of Internet access to view Pete's Pond, you shall instead be subjected to hours of NPR radio news because that is your host's preference. Conversation will be strongly discouraged, especially since you are thoughtlessly going to lunch with your friends.

After working until midnight to catch up on the painting, you will be permitted to set the air mattress up in the room just painted. The windows will be left open, despite the chilled night air, to minimize the headache likely from the paint fumes. If the guest insists, she may stretch the sheets over the couch downstairs and sleep there instead. The cold shoulder treatment will continue; after all, you had lunch with your friends...

Expect to be shunned should you decide you've had enough of this treatment. You are on your own to find other accommodations, a ride, and a way to get back home. Your host will never speak to you again.

Thanks for visiting!
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