After two plus years of making plans to get our own place and set it up for gardening, energy and water efficiency, and surviving TEOTWAWKI (climate change, peak oil, economic crash), I thought I'd be super-excited and raring to go now that we've got the place. Instead, I find myself completely and totally exhausted - physically and mentally, and emotionally drained. With the crucial initial steps complete - finding and purchasing the place, moving, dealing with paperwork (insurance/utilities/services), getting out of the rental - I seem to have hit the wall.
I need to tackle the next crucial steps of getting settled, doing what we can to improve water and energy efficiency, setting up the compost system, planning the garden, building community, and so on. All I really want to do right now, however, is crawl into a dark hole, hide out for a while, and rest.
Everywhere I turn, though, there are boxes begging to be unpacked, repairs taunting me to tackle, and projects on the to-do list that have been talked about for two years. I try to unpack a box but can't put things away because the cabinet or desk or shelf that will house the things in the box are not in the right place. Either there's no room to set up the furniture or we haven't decided how to arrange it yet. I just keep moving boxes around.
The task of actually settling in, at this point, feels insurmountable. I know what some of you will say: just start working on it and it will get done. Well, I do start working on it but little is getting done other than me ending up feeling frustrated and disappointed that I haven't made more progress. Honestly, I usually unpack with frightening speed but this time I'm painfully slow.
Is this because we invested so much of our energy for the past couple of years trying to get to this point? Is it because when we got to it, we moved really fast and wore ourselves out? Is it because I feel the stakes are higher and that concern/fear is paralyzing me?
What is wrong with me?
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14 comments:
I think it's because you've just spent an exhausting few weeks making the transition and you're simply bone-tired with mountains of work staring you in the face. There is no solution to how you feel right now. I never understood people who were excited when they bought a new house. I had chest pains and a lump in my stomach for weeks wondering what the h... I had just done.
This will pass and, of course, it will ultimately get done; but, the best part of all this is that you're in charge and you can go as fast or as slow as you want. It's yours to slow plan or jump right into. Don't feel guilty. Have a drink and just go to bed. Go. To. Bed.
If it's not normal, it's certainly what I went through after I moved. 5 months later and I'm still only half unpacked, late setting up my garden, and only have four chairs for seating in my entire house.
Take a deep breath, tackle the stuff which has to be done today first, and ignore the rest until you have more time. With any luck, you've got a couple of years to get it all sorted out before TEOTWAWKI.
Nothing wrong with you at all. Studies show that the top three stressors are death, divorce and moving.
Sit and stare out the window awhile; your body will let you know when it's time to get crackin'.
This is more than normal. It is expected! You just went through a huge life change, and everything is in crazy-land right now.
Rest. Put things away slowly. Look out your new windows (and don't be distracted if they need to be washed). Take a breath.
Your "to-do" list will still be there when you get back to it. Promise.
It's a marathon, not a sprint. Take a deep breath, find your limoncello, have a sip, breathe again. Sip some more limoncello. Breathe. Giggle.
Recharge for a night. Approach afresh tomorrow.
You've met a BIG goal in your life which did take a load of energy, and therefore, I pronounce you perfectly NORMAL in your response to this event!
You probably need to sit and stare out the window or something just like everyone elese has said!
You said " ... Is it because I feel the stakes are higher and that concern/fear is paralyzing me?" that might be in there, too.
peace, shamba
Totally normal. My preps slowed way down after we moved. I'm getting my motivation back just now over a year later.
Uh...you just moved. I just moved. I'm exhausted. You're exhausted. I have a bottle of beer next to me (I've just been organizing our bedroom after work) and now I'm relaxing. You'll be ready to tackle everything soon. Give yourself some time.
What they said and yes, its mostly normal. I only just unpacked my last box - 6 years later!
What I found useful was always start with your bedroom - then you have somewhere to retreat into :)
Window cleaning?? You mean they need to be cleaned!!!?
viv in nz
I would definitely not say, "Just start working on it..." I'd say, What's the hurry? You're not going anywhere, are you? How about a mini recharge vacation-- hiking in the mountains, visiting friends or even just doing some of the fun outdoor stuff at your new abode before it gets to stinking hot.
Absolutely, totally, normal.. apart from keeping the essentials ticking along I say mentally give yourself a break for "observation time".
Until you have lived there a bit you are not going to know how you will move through the house.. and furniture won't be placed until you know that. Many of the boxes won't be unpacked until the furniture is placed or extra shelving is done, no point unpacking boxes onto the floor.
Sure there might be a little bit of "high stakes" in there but the reality is you have been pushing yourself extremely hard to make all this happen. It sounds a lot more like you need to allow yourself to mentally settle before you can face physically settling.
Kind Regards
Belinda
Normal. Make a list. Then break down the list into mini lists, tasks that can be done in 10-15 minutes. If you get 3-4 of those done in a day, it's all good!
It's been 18 months since we moved. Wes is still rooting around in a few boxes for his stuff and hasn't organized it. I still haven't organized a few things of mine either. so what? we're happy and it's not like it's going anywhere.
Uh, I didn't just move, but we were considering it, and as much as I wanted LAND!!!, I found myself almost dreading whether we would find it suitable or not (it wasn't) because the thought of fixing up this house and then the new house was overwhelming me.
You probably just need to take a break of a few days, enjoy walking around your property, read, sleep. Like everyone else says, you will feel better. Unless you are like me and unable to relax when there is too much to do. If that's the case, I'm still looking for a solution to that problem if anyone has the answer!
I agree with what everyone else said. If the weather is decent, go outside and explore your new area and relax in Nature.
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