Everywhere I look, bloggers are posting proud reviews of all they've accomplished in the past year. Normally I enjoy reading these, thinking about all we've accomplished, and looking forward to making significant progress in our future. This year, I can barely stomach them.
It's not that I'm not happy for those folks who have built great garden beds, got their chickens and made tractors for them, put in more insulation, stocked up on supplies or figured out ways to do without, gleaned ample supplies of free wood for their wood stoves, and so on. It's just that we've had such an incredibly unsuccessful year while getting our dreams completely crushed that I don't even know what to aim for anymore.
Since I started blogging, and that's been over three and a half years now, we worked towards building a more self-sufficient sustainable lifestyle. We spent countless hours poring over what we wanted in a homestead and how we would "develop" it. We spent countless more hours searching for the homestead.
We found our ideal place and plunked our money and lives down on it. Then the rug got yanked out from under us and we were told that despite it being privately owned (by us), the bureaucrats, in essence, actually own it and will not allow us the use of it. Oh, we can use a small portion of it, but only with their express permission in exactly the manner that they allow. And they won't allow what we wanted to do here to grow our own food, harvest the rainwater, or almost anything else we'd spent years planning.
Where does one go after that? Spend another two to three years searching for a place, only to be blind-sided again? Change the plan? Give up? Right now, we're pretty discouraged and still debating our options. Hence, the only goals I am setting for the coming year are to get this place spruced up to sell and try to get me spruced up to live a healthier life. Oh, and, of course, we are doing what we have to do to recover financially from the unexpected costs of this past year.
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Olivia's year end review:
-remembers what she did this year - NOT!
-got in-laws settled - NOT!
-finished house renos - NOT!
-Made tractors for chickens - what does that even mean? Any chickens we might aspire to have would be promptly eaten by the foxes and coyotes.
-successfully put up all garden produce - NOT!
-tended to the sick and lonely - NOT!
- split and stacked 7 cords of wood - CHECK! Oh wait, DH did that.
-wrote fascinating monthly newspaper column describing the doings of all the neighbours - NOT! Wrote the column but it was mostly about fascinating ME!
Began a two year program in Spiritual Direction - CHECK!
-wrote successful first paper for said course - NOT! Didn't get what they were after - and Olivia has a Master's degree in theology! Go figure.
Ah well - there's always next year.
Olivia - too funny! Thanks.
Oh, and for the chickens, you want to go get a John Deere little mini-tractor they can ride around in the garden, hop off, and peck at bugs every now and then. Saves them energy walking.
Can't believe I typed that with a straight face. You didn't read it with one, did you?
A chicken tractor is, I think, a portable chicken run so that one can move their chickens around to work on eating up the insect pests (and fertilizing) specific sections of a garden as needed.
If it's any comfort: our veg cost us more than buying it, my house nearly fell apart because I didn't maintain it correctly,my social life was non existant - there is always another day and I won't give up the dreams, or hope or persistence in trying to achieve a simpler life xxx
The past year you have had one of the crushing blows in life, major death of dream.
For that you deserve sympathy, some time to feel sorry for yourselves, to grieve and sit around wondering what to do next.
I'm beginning to think that the way things are going in the big world around us that the only thing we can really do to prepare is be aware of what is happening and keep our heads while it's happening. Or maybe I won't keep my head but I'll know what happenied to the world.
Olivia, I like your list!
A New Year starts tomorrow, may it be good to all of us.
peace, shamba
We also live in 'Next Year Country'. Better luck next year!
I completely understand how annoyed you must feel at reading all the year end reviews. But if life has taught me anything this year, it's that you're stronger than you will ever know and that adversity breeds hope. You my dear, have nothing but hope.
I know things will turn around for you next year, and I'm crossing my fingers that the universe does indeed give you a break. I think we could all use one!
Happy New Year to you and the Mr Chile!
Boy do I hope next year is going to be better for all of us than this one has been - I wont go into the boring details right now...... :-)
Chile, even though this year has been awful for you, you have still been an inspiration for many of us I think.
I really do hope that next year gets better and heads and hearts allow us all to maybe focus on and achieve something (anything would be a damn achievement here let me tell you !
I wish you well in all that you do decide to go for.
Big hugs Babs xxx
As someone said, tomorrow is the beginning of a new year. I could make a list much like Olivia's. Huge dreams have been crushed, and plans have met with immovable obstacles. Our car is on its last legs and really, does it matter because gas prices are edging out of our affordability range. Money was carefully saved, only to fly out the window when both computers died in the same week.
I prefer to think like someone who blogged "Considering everything that happened in 2010, at least I can be thankful there were no new babies!"
So there's my Year In Review:
- Did NOT get pregnant again - CHECK
- Kept a roof over our heads - CHECK
- Fed everyone - CHECK
- Stayed married - CHECK
Here's to a good year in 2011.
As my best friend put it, "2010, you blew my mind".
We all had hopes and dreams for 2010 and for whatever reason, life happened and though we fought it and we're still chugging along, it seems that Life does what it wants to do regardless of what we want. I hope 2011 goes more my way than it did in 2010.
When I get discouraged, I read this quote out loud and take a breath:
'Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.”'
Mary Anne Radmacher
May the next year take you where you want to go!
best wishes,
kt a canuck in the uk
(aka a longtime blog lurker)
Frugal Queen - we know homegrown often costs more, but there is that whole element of knowing exactly where it's been! Glad your house didn't fall apart and hope you can fit in a social life next year. Sadly, you're too far to just drop by my place for a visit.
Shamba - we talked quite a lot this morning about possible directions to go. Every option has potential but is fraught with a lot of big potential problems, too. Choosing which problems to take on is the challenge.
Sarah - better luck for all of us!
Katie - it's not so much an annoyance as I feel very disheartened that I don't have the same options to do the cool stuff here.
And you're going to have to have enough hope for the both of us, Katie, cuz I'm running low about now. ;-)
Babs - inspiration? I don't feel like I've been one for the last six months, other than possibly "how to get people modestly entertained while whining a whole heck of a lot..."
Goals for next year are going to start out really modest. Just what I posted: fix up the house to sell, fix up me. That second one is gonna be the toughie!
Canadian Doomer - haha, good list. I guess mine could be:
No new dogs - CHECK!
No less dogs - CHECK!
No new major injuries (just all the old ones) - CHECK!
Laura - I know a number of people that had a really tough year. Not sure what was in the air but hope it's not the start of a trend!
Just remembering to take a deep breath at all is sometimes a challenge for me.
I think everyone here has shown that we don't always have control of our destiny. We just cruise along, thinking that we do.
I started 2010 in physical therapy from when my car was rear-ended and ended the year in phys therapy from a shoulder operation. There were so many things I couldn't do last year.
Lacking any better reasoning, I'm guessing it's because 2+0+1+0 adds up to an odd number. 2011 adds up to 4, which is supposed to be lucky ;)
Here's to a great year for all of us! Best wishes in 2011!
Thank you, kt!
Farmgal - and don't foget that tomorrow is 1/1/11 ... and that adds up to 4, too. ;-)
4 huh....that is supposed to be unlucky in China I believe :)
Ole' wet blanket strikes again!
Happy almost 2nd of Jan and better luck next (what am I saying!) THIS year,
viv in nz
ps I'm not precisely sorry to see the end of last year either - a stroke and being on permanent medications plus my mum having a worse stroke and getting a death sentence of about a year didn't exactly strike a good note either.
Best Wishes Chili!
Hope that 2011 brings new hope and new direction!
My list...
Moved into a smaller home- CHECK!
Did not sell our old home- CHECK!
Finally got a pellet stove- CHECK!
Have reduced Hydro bill by 1/3- CHECK!
Enjoyed another year with my dad- CHECK!!
Acquired another grand baby- CHECK!
All is well!
Best wishes for peace, good health and happiness!
my dearest Chile-
I not only didn't get any of my major projects done, I didn't have many successes to blog about.
You on the other hand, have. You went out and tried- and that is an inspiration to me. Your end result may not be what you had in mind, but hell at least you gave it a shot.
You are and always have been one of my heroes.
I never do the year end reviews, or read them. I'm always happy for people that they got so much stuff done, but I feel woefully inadequate by how little I ever feel I accomplished when I do read them.
Viv - yeah, tough year! It's got to get better, huh?
wendyytb - was not selling the old house the plan? Or just where it stands right now?
Rob - you are such a sweetie. You inspire me with the multitude, and I mean multitude! of small projects you get done. You are ALWAYS working on something while I'm often just sitting here exhausted.
Allie - here, here. Let's just avoid those pesky things then, shall we? ;-)
Yes, definitely!!
I think trying big things and failing at them, while not very much fun, is a big accomplishment for a year.
I'm sorry that this past year was full of disappointments, and I hope this doesn't sound flippant, but they are learning opportunities, too. Somewhere out there is a place for you, a place you can call HOME, where you'll be able to do the things you've dreamed and planned about. This place wasn't it, but perhaps was a necessary step to getting to that future place that will be the One. Many blessings to you, and hopes that you will soon find the answers...
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