The Last Line

In yesterday's post, I ended with the line, "disinclined to acquiesce." Those of you who have kept up with popular American movies may have noticed the vaguely familiar ring to this. It is a partial quote from the movie, Pirates of the Caribbean, in which the evil pirates' captain makes a request of the fair maiden captive aboard his ship to which she replies that she is "disinclined to acquiesce."

Those who saw the movie know that, given the awful alternative, she does indeed acquiesce to the request. And so must we, to yet another request here. We sincerely hope it is the last request and the difficulties imposed upon us may be finally laid to rest. We appear to be on the home stretch for this phase of our lives. It would be a relief as we have not had a weekend off in ages and would like to have a brief respite from the constant work.

Come November, however, our work does not end. We begin our push in earnest to get this place ready to put back on the market, which means ratcheting up our efforts to downsize dramatically as well as taking care of all those little cleaning details such as professional carpet cleaning, stripping and re-waxing the floors, touching up the paint, and trying to get the huge volumes of loose dog fur under control. I also begin editing the next volume in Nova's American Apocalypse series, after finishing up Gardener Summer earlier this month.

It is likely that the blog will be put on the back burner for a while. I've not had much inspiration to write lately and feel I have beat our current trials and tribulations into the ground. Nobody wants to hear about them anymore nor do I want to talk about them anymore. Let's move on, please.

Regarding requests sure to be made that I keep the blog active, post about more positive aspects of what I'm doing or eating right now, and keep fighting the good fight, at this time I feel rather disinclined to acquiesce.

D’Alliteration

despondent

depressed

despairing

dejected

dispirited

downhearted

discouraged

disillusioned

dismayed

derailed

damaged

denied

disgusted

disinclined to acquiesce

The Upside of Craigslist

As regular and long-term readers know, I have a love-hate relationship with craigslist. It can be frustrating to deal with people that make the process difficult, people whose sensibilities are easily offended, and people that don't pay attention to details.

However, there are good things to be said about craigslist. For one, it's so much more convenient to be able to list an item for sale or free from the comfort of your own home at any time of day or night as opposed to slogging down to the newspaper office, filling out their form, and forking over the ad fee. With my penchant for privacy, I also am grateful I don't have to list my phone number out there for the world to see, something unavoidable with print ads.

As one who likes to observe human behavior and talk to an assortment of people, the best part can be meeting folks. As mentioned in the posts linked above, some folks are not destined to make it to the greatest hits list, but, for the most part, the people we've met have at least been nice. It helps that I am getting better at winnowing through the responses to what I put on craigslist, too.

For instance, when I listed the yarn, I got several responses and chose the lady who wanted it because she knits for charity. The velcro I got rid of yesterday went to a woman who makes warm capes with easy fastening velcro strips for the patients at the nursing home where she works. I am more likely to respond to people such as these two ladies than the person who just writes, "I NEED that widget you're getting rid of."

I want our things to go on to have useful lives in the hands of people who will take care of them. Of course, we can't be picky every time but I'm doing my best. I made sure that the treadle sewing machine that we parted with was going to be used for sewing rather than displayed solely as an antique. One of my sweetie's tools went to a jewelery-maker who was thinking of his students' perpetual need for tools of their own. The railing from the deck will have a new life as trellis "fencing" bordering a big garden. And our fencing materials are now keeping a couple of Boston Terriers contained in a bigger yard.

One nice gal that picked up some early materials from the deck destruction has been back several times since to get more materials. We've struck up a bit of a friendship and I'm happy to pass along things that will help her increase her garden efforts. In fact, she's coming by this morning to take the rest of the huge pile of composted chicken bedding and sawdust. Some of the plywood from the deck is destined to be turned into tables for her seedlings. Her plants will be shaded by our solar screen and protected by our bird netting.

Through a couple of sales, we've rubbed noses with folks that travel in tangential circles - not the exact circles that we are in but ones that closely touch. My sweetie worked in the bike industry for a while but had never personally met one of Tucson's resident bike builders until he came for our frame-building jig - the one my sweetie used to build my Xtracycle bike. Our shed and water tanks ended up going to someone involved with the sustainable living movement in this area.

Sometimes folks have a bit of time to chat when we meet and that can be very interesting, too. I've met several people who've lived, or are currently living, the fifth wheel life. Their observations have been helpful. The best came from the gentleman who bought our bike trailer for his dog. After I told him why we were getting rid of it, he said, "Good. You don't own things; they own YOU!" When you live in a small space, you have to figure out your priorities.

Sometimes life changes require a closer look at priorities, too. A couple that picked up some of our tools had to get rid of much of what they owned to pay for medical expenses. They both concurred that while it was painful, in the end it helped them define what they loved and how they wanted to spend their time. Clarity, and a more fulfilling life, came out of crisis.

So while I may keep whining, I also do understand and appreciate that this change - even though it feels forced upon us - may have positive results. It certainly is having positive results for all the folks picking up our goodies through craigslist!

Random Thoughts

Sometimes I feel lucky to survive driving in my area north of Tucson. There is a large population of elderly, retired folks and some seem to be very uncomfortable with traffic conditions. Almost every time I'm out, someone will turn out onto the main drag right in front of me. The speed limit is 55 mph and they pull out at a snail's pace, in some cases forcing me to slam on my brakes and pray the people behind me aren't texting instead of paying attention to the road. I understand the desire to remain independent in one's golden years, but please don't kill me just so you can drive down to Walgreens today.


Speaking of drivers, I truly wish some of these guys that drive slowly in my neighborhood with their speakers thumping would be forced to wear headphones and listen to all the Mahler symphonies in their entirety. Or maybe some opera. I like an assortment of music but I don't feel compelled to share it with everyone in a two mile radius!


~~~~~~~~~~

Note to those who use craigslist: "Pick-up pending" means that someone has contacted the seller already and is scheduled to pick up the item. The seller is likely leaving the ad up because they have had too many experiences with craigslist buyers flaking out on them at the last minute. So, when you see that, e-mail to ask that they let you know if the sale falls through because you are interested rather than e-mailing to demand to see it right now.


And, speaking of craigslist etiquette... Sellers: remove your freakin' ads when your item has sold. And Buyers: do not e-mail just to ask, "Do you still have it?" If you're interested, e-mail to tell the seller you would like to buy it if it is still available. I can't tell you how many times I've told someone, "Yes, I still have it," and never hear from them again. A little common courtesy, folks, goes a long ways.


~~~~~~~~~~

I've noticed an interesting trend with folks I see on a regular basis. When they ask if things are settling down, getting better, or something along that line, and hear that no, things have not improved yet, they back away quick. Oftentimes, they will then quit asking at all. The sense I get is not that they are upset so much for my sake as they are upset to hear that someone, anyone, is experiencing ongoing turmoil.

There seems to be a deep fundamental belief that things will get better in time. That is not always true but people don't want to hear that. Hearing it, in fact, can shake up their beliefs and faith that good will always triumph and fairness will prevail. The fact that this is not the case for someone they know personally seems to be hitting too close to home: if it's happening to her, it could happen to me.

That's just my take on it from the receiving end of avoidance behavior from people who used to visit with me regularly.


~~~~~~~~~~
I'm having very mixed feelings about the changes around here. On one hand, I'm sad to see our things passing out of our hands into the hands of other people, especially considering how over-saturated the market is now (meaning we're getting pennies on the dollar). On the other hand, I'm looking forward to life with just the essentials, pared down to what we truly need, and hopefully leading to more time to do what we want rather than just what is required.


Unfortunately, the dogs don't feel any of the excitement. Dogs like routine and stability, and life here is anything but. Why can't they understand that throwing up because they are upset makes Mom really frustrated? I'm tempted to go buy a new carpet steam cleaner but then we'd have to get rid of it, too.

~~~~~~~~~~

I've noticed the comments have dropped off considerably here. Ya'll just tired of my whining or do you think our planned change in lifestyle is insane?

Fine Eatin' from Fridge & Pantry

In an effort to avoid wasting any more food, start clearing out the pantry, reduce our expenditures on take-out and convenience food, and, perhaps, eat just a little bit healthier, I am making more meals from what I have* in the refrigerator and the pantry.

(*That is, what is left after the major clean-out of spoiled food, rusted containers/lids, and stale stuff while moving food from the ill-advised upright freezer-fridge conversion to a smaller refrigerator picked up this past week. All pantry foods with a 2010 expiration date have now been moved to the front lines and are making their way into meals almost every day.)

I have been pleased with how tasty the food has been so far and am excited about some of the dishes I plan to make soon.

Over the weekend, we had a really rich and tasty pasta dish using some whole wheat spaghetti and a mix of fresh vegetables from the CSA and food in jars (purchased on sale, not canned by me). While the spaghetti was cooking, I sauteed an onion and a few cloves of garlic in a little oil from a jar of olives. When they were golden, I added several chopped fresh tomatoes. Once they'd softened up a bit, I dumped in an entire 9 oz jar of "Mediterranean Appetizer" - a tasty mix of roasted red peppers and eggplant. I also pitted and chopped up half a dozen green olives from another jar that I'd found on the clearance rack of one of the natural food stores. The only additional seasoning needed was fresh basil and some salt and pepper.

I wanted to make sure the vegetable mixture coated the pasta well so I dumped in a bit of the pasta cooking water with the noodles, as Lidia often advises on her cooking show. Unfortunately, I put in too much so I had to thicken it with a little whole wheat flour dissolved in water. The end result, however, was wonderful and made me glad I always scour the grocery store racks for the sale items.

This morning, I had a rather odd breakfast, or rather, brunch. I didn't get around to eating until about 10 and by then ordinary food sounded just as good as more breakfasty options. I happened to notice an instant soup cup that has been languishing in the cabinet for some time and decided today would be a good day to eat it. Split pea soup with crackers may not be what most people would choose for brunch but I was happy with my choice and it filled me up really well. I don't remember what I paid for it, but I know this meal was dirt cheap!

While browsing through my cookbooks, trying to cull a few (so hard!), I pulled out the Apocalypse Chow book. I flipped through it, debating if it was one I wanted to keep. I landed on a page with a recipe for pasta salad with chickpeas and artichoke hearts. It sounded good! And I had a 12 oz jar of marinated artichoke hearts that had been sitting in the same cabinet with the split pea soup for a long time.

What I didn't have, however, was any good salad pasta. Spaghetti just doesn't quite cut it for a cold salad, at least for me. I browsed around the kitchen and pantry for a bit and decided to make a big substitution, one that would also be a little lower in calories. The arugula in the produce bin was calling out to be cleaned and eaten so I skipped the pasta altogether and used the greens instead.


I think the pasta salad would have been a bit boring, so I'm glad I used spicy arugula leaves instead. My final version included a can of chickpeas (drained and rinsed), the 12 oz jar of artichoke hearts (partially drained), half a dozen reconstituted dehydrated cherry tomatoes (originally from the CSA), lemon juice (frozen from my friend's neighbor's tree), tarragon, and salt and pepper. I topped the salad with seeds from a CSA pumpkin that were salted and toasted until crunchy.


While I was on a roll in the kitchen, I made something sweet for later. My mother-in-law calls these "Cub Scout Cookies" but most of the recipes you'll find online are called No-Bake Cocoa Cookies or something similar. By making a batch and a half, I was able to use up the open tin of cocoa powder and the last of the quick-cooking oats. I hope the dogs don't mind that I stole a scoop of their peanut butter for the recipe.

You can see by the photo of the cookies that I still have food to use up in the freezer. There are frozen peaches from our trip to the U-Pick orchard this summer, flax seeds (bought in bulk on sale for use as an egg substitute), and that blue bag holds a couple of bones from the organic, grass-fed, local beef sold at the CSA. The bones are for the dogs, not soup.

I'm debating whether I want to go to the effort of making some dog biscuits from scratch this week. I don't have any mesquite flour, but I could use all whole wheat flour and maybe add some carob powder since dogs can eat that (and I can't stand the stuff). However, I don't have any soy flour either, and I'm not sure if it's important for the protein level or binding. I suppose the dogs wouldn't care. And it would let me use up some of the carob and ground egg shells I've been holding onto just for this purpose.

For our dinner tonight, I'm planning to use up some leftover fake chicken in the fridge with a CSA onion and bell pepper in a stir-fry. There's a leftover sweet-n-sour stirfry sauce packet from some frozen veggie eggrolls we had a while back and I've got freeze-dried pineapple chunks that can be reconstituted for it, too.

If I do decide to make the dog treats, I'll bake some berry cobbler while the oven is on. This way, I can use up some of the frozen blueberries in combination with the can of blackberries (on sale!), and top the whole thing with homemade vanilla ice cream. What about the cocoa cookies, you ask? Well, they are in the freezer and can always stay there for a few more days. Or, I suppose I could be nice and send a couple in my sweetie's lunch bag to work with him every day for a while.

With these tasty meals, it makes me wonder why we've been eating so much food lately made by others. Oh yeah, it takes time to cook at home and then I'm stuck with dirty dishes, too. Oh well. At least the food at home tastes a whole lot better!

Sledgehammer Therapy

I got to do some more sledgehammer therapy this weekend. I really do recommend this as a way to release tension as well as get a really good workout. In fact, I had to pause several times this afternoon to let my heart rate go back down (and to wipe the sweat outta my eyes).

This reminds me of past efforts to reduce frustration through physical activity. As a youngster, I occasionally chopped wood for the rarely-used fireplace when I was angry. The intense activity and controlled violence was quite therapeutic, and, even better, yielded a usable product. Sadly, my dad was not too skilled with tool maintenance and I quit using the axe after the head went flying off the handle one day.

As an adult, I discovered, entirely by accident, that I had a knack for making mosaics. This was a great discovery because it meant that I could violently break things without wasting them. It was perfectly justified because I was actually creating materials for art. Sadly, though, my mosaic materials proved too heavy to keep through multiple moves. (The move with 130 pounds of grout, and boxes and boxes of tiles almost broke up my marriage.)

This weekend, the sledgehammer came out again to knock old concrete off fence posts and break rubble up into manageable pieces. While I was doing the latter, my sweetie watched me with amusement. I stopped for a moment and told him, "We are not selling the sledgehammer. I know it's heavy but it's a heck of a lot cheaper than a psychiatrist!" He just laughed.

I should never have let him sell the hand sledge, dang it.

How to Waste Food

1. Take more than you really need.


2. Eat more than you really need.


3. Get take-out and prepared food while the fresh produce in your refrigerator slowly rots.


4. Forget that you left hot food cooling on a baking rack until the next morning.


5. Keep lacto-fermented foods (like sauerkraut & kimchi) too long. Even in cool temperatures, the fermentation continues....too far.


6. Get a refrigerator that rains inside (by converting an upright freezer to a refrigerator - not recommended!) so that you can't see what is covered up by the towels and so that can lids rust.

Once again, I see a potential advantage to our plans to try life in a fifth wheel trailer. Possessions will have to be scaled back. This will include food, and should result in less waste. In fact, I really don't recall having nearly this much food waste when we lived in a 24 foot RV for 2 1/2 years.

Back then, I actually actively reduced food waste by picking up produce discards at the store for my chickens. I'd sort through the half dozen boxes of food that no longer met Americans' expectations for picture-perfect produce. The outer lettuce leaves were indeed wilted, but the chickens still liked them and the inner leaves were often crisp and firm. While the leaves were slimy and gross, the radishes were still, like the lettuce, crispy and firm. Once the outer stalks of celery were removed, the inner ones were crunchy and ready to munch on. At least half of each bundle of cilantro could be salvaged, as could the parsley leaves.

The fruit was often bruised only in one or two spots, making it easy to cut the bad spot out and use the rest. With the quantities involved, eating them fresh wasn't an option after the first day but luckily we both came to really enjoy cooked compote mixtures. The melons usually weren't salvageable, much to the chickens' delight. They were the absolute favorite food in the hen house, followed closely by lettuce and cucumber halves.

Anything that wasn't good enough for us and the chickens didn't like went into the compost pile with the chicken droppings. At that time, we lived in a hot, dry area with only about 12" of rain per year and with temperatures hotter than Tucson's. Yet, my compost turnover time was a mere month between putting in the raw materials and producing beautiful dark rich soil.

Now I am making compost with food that I am personally responsible for wasting rather than the waste produced by the corporate food machine. Ironically, the compost I'm currently making won't even be used in my own garden since I'll be giving it and the compost bin to a friend when we sell this place and leave. Ah well, at least it's not going to be a total waste of the food.

Whack-A-Pole

Sometimes you just gotta get physical to deal with the anger and frustration you feel in life. After parting with a number of precious belongings yesterday for a fraction of what we paid for them, just so we can get things cleared out to make the bureaucrats happy, my sweetie and I needed some sledgehammer therapy.

It rained yesterday and the ground was nice and soft. It seemed a good time to see if we'd be able to get the 4x4 posts that supported the deck out of the ground. (We've got 2/3 of the deck removed but still have to deal with the part we use to get in and out of the house.) I was busy checking craigslist responses on the yarn this morning when I heard a loud WHAM outside. It was my sweetie hitting one of the posts with the sledgehammer. This continued for a while until he came in drenched in sweat.

I headed out to sweep out the shed that's being towed out of here tomorrow but got distracted by the prospect of releasing some tension myself. The softened ground made it relatively easy to loosen the posts so I kept at it even after beginning to tire. If we waited until the ground dries out, they'd be much more difficult to remove. After a while, my sweetie came back out and used the big iron drop bar to pry out the ones I'd loosened. It took us several hours altogether to remove the two dozen posts.

I'm gonna hurt like heck later and my physical therapist is probably going to be very unhappy with me, but I really needed to do this. Got a laugh out of my neighbor, too, when he walked by and I asked if the sound of a pissed-0ff homeowner was bothering him. He was impressed with my big hammer.

I like sledgehammers. Whacking on stuff is fun. Me big strong woman. Grunt, grunt.

Enough Yarn for the Apocalypse?

Well, maybe not enough for the apocalypse, but it's still a lot of yarn.

The downsizing continues here. Since someone was coming by yesterday to look at the lovely working treadle sewing machine we had, it seemed a good time to go through our material and crafting stash. Maybe the gal coming by would want to haul some of it home, too.

Many people seem to think that knowing how to sew their own clothes is going to be a crucial skill if things ever go south in a big hurry. I disagree. I'm not sure these folks take into account the huge volume of used clothes in this country. At the first sign of a rip, stain, missing button, or, even worse, changing fashion (egads!), clothing is discarded. The thrift stores get more than they know what to do with and the excess is often shipped off to other countries after going unsold for a set period of time.

I think the more important skills will be stain removal, mending, and sewing on buttons. I'm lousy at the first, but then again, I don't really care all that much. As for the other two, yep, I can do that. In fact, I just sewed down the edges of the peeling iron-on patches this week for these jeans' repair. Being able to re-size or refashion garments will also likely be a good talent to have, one I hope to be able to barter for if necessary.

What about the apocalyptic yarn stash you thought this post was about?

Well, at one time, we thought my mother-in-law might move in with us. I had fantasies of her teaching me how to crochet and knit, giving me something to do on cold, dark winter nights because, after TEOTWAKI, of course, we would have no Internet, no TV, and only crappy light from the kerosene lanterns by which to do anything. So, I dutifully haunted the estate sales, thrift store, and church rummage sales, gathering together a respectable stash of assorted yarns, crochet hooks, and knitting needles.

Plans changed and the opportunity for learning these skills first-hand dissipated. I also realized I have very little interest in learning them and no aptitude, based on lessons in childhood, a session in adulthood a few years ago, and looking through the instruction books. With our latest moving plans, holding on to a big bulky stash of something I will not use is not an option.

I started looking through the stash yesterday and remembered that I don't know squat about what makes one kind of yarn desirable and another not so good. How would I describe what I had? Thankfully the world hasn't fallen apart yet, so I was able to turn to the Internet for research and find out that the yarn in my "fun" stash is actually quite desirable.


I have a dozen or so Moda Dea skeins, a yarn which is no longer made, plus some cool metallic ladder ribbon. Ah ha! Now I have the hook needed for the crafters.

I am hoping to transfer my collection of goodies to some yarn enthusiast who will actually use them instead of just storing them. Nothing likes to sit around idle and unused, which is also why I made sure the treadle sewing machine went to someone who will sew with it, and not to an antique dealer.

What about you? Are you hanging on to anything that you think you should have but that honestly you are totally uninterested in and will likely never, ever use? Or that you could easily do without or barter for if the proverbial shit ever really does hit the fan?

C'mon, 'fess up. I'm sure there's something lurking in the back of the closet or storeroom that makes you grimace just a little when you catch sight of it, thinking of the money you spent on it and the fact that you really don't like it ... but now you have it so you ought to keep it ... but it's taking up space that you could use for other stuff ... but wouldn't it be bad, possibly risky, to get rid of it ... oh, but what a relief it'd be to send it out the door.

Yeah, I saw that glimmer of recognition in your eyes. You have a useless yarn stash of your own, or books on butchering a pig or cow with the absolute self-knowledge you could never do it, or ice tongs when you live in the desert, or a solar oven when you live in the rainforest. Confess. It's good for the soul, and it will make the comments more fun to read.

Solar Cooking My Brain

With another day of HEAT here and errands I had to run midday, I am well on my way to solar-roasted brains. The problem, besides having really hot temperatures lately, is the air conditioning in my vehicle does not work when it's over about 90 degrees. Yeah, that's real helpful to have A/C when it's not very hot and none at all when it's scorching blazing hot as hell outside.

It has something to do with a vacuum leak or something else that would be really expensive to fix so we just keep hoping it will eventually cool off. The compressor works and my sweetie tells me it's okay to have the A/C on when I'm moving along at a good clip so that air is flowing over it. At a standstill though - at stop lights, for instance - it's bad to have it on because it could ice over and crack. That would be mega bucks to fix.

And wouldn't ya know it; I hit every freakin' stop light on my drive today. While it's technically not 100 degrees yet today (only a cool 99.5), the inside car temperature gauge was reading 113 degrees while I was stopped at the lights. With the windows rolled down, even with a mild breeze, the effect was more like a convection oven than a cooling fan. And, of course, I was next to a big smelly semi with its fume-spewing exhaust pipe right next to my window for several miles.

I haven't cooked meat for a long time, but I know roasting at a low temperature for a long time in a covered pan is supposed to yield a nice moist meat. I figure my brain, encased in my skull, has got to be pretty juicy by now. I think I'll go drench my hair and sit under the ceiling fan on high speed for a while. Hopefully the fast cooling won't make my brain get tough and dry.