How To Make Oatmeal That Doesn't Suck

My apologies to die-hard fans of regular oatmeal but I think it sucks.  The texture is slimy and disgusting.  Mucilage is fine for okra but breakfast should not resemble bland snot.  With encouragement from all angles to incorporate more healthy oatmeal into one's diet, I have often found it hard to comply.

Luckily there are ways to make oatmeal that doesn't suck.  One way even used some rolled oats without too much resulting snottage.  I used to buy regular rolled oats and steel cut oats, and mix them half and half.  One portion of this mixture was combined with three parts water and then cooked until the steel-cut oats were tender enough to chew.  An easy way to reduce the cooking time dramatically was to mix the oats and water the night before and let them soak.  Cooking in the morning only took 5 minutes, instead of up to 25.

Nowadays, though, I am looking for ways to avoid having to buy and store multiple forms of oats.  I have oat groats - whole oat kernels - on hand.  Oat Groat Pilaf is delish, and whole oats store better than cut oats (as is the case for most whole grains).  I have a small grain grinder, the ubiquitous "Universal" brand, that I acquired by trading a beading loom - purchased at a yard sale - for it. 

Oat groats are relatively soft grains and much easier to grind than wheat berries.  However, this grain grinder doesn't make rolled oats.  Oat rollers are available but pricey and since I'm not crazy about rolled oats, I have little incentive to get one.

I have found, however, that just running the groats through the grinder produces a version of steel-cut oats that I like.  The grinder can be adjusted to just barely break the grains or to produce flour or anything in between.  I like grinding the oats finer than the typical steel-cut oats available for purchase.  This allows for faster cooking and a less chewy texture, and for some reason, does not cook up with the sliminess of rolled oats.

To cook, I add three parts water to ground oats.  Over medium heat, it only takes about 5 minutes to cook these up, stirring constantly to avoid burning.

Once cooked, I add a dollop of peanut butter and sprinkle of salt for flavor.  This is optional but I sure like it.  Cover and let sit for a few minutes to let the oats set up a bit and let the peanut butter soften into the mix.

The final step in making oatmeal that doesn't suck is adding a handful of dark chocolate chips.  Fold them in quickly to avoid letting them melt into ribbons through the oatmeal.  The idea is to distribute them throughout the cereal so that every bite contains at least one melted tidbit of sweet lovely chocolate.

Of course, this sort of recipe is why I have the little weight problem we don't talk about.  If forced to, I can adjust to eating my oatmeal with a sprinkle of brown sugar and splash of soymilk on top instead of with the peanut butter and chocolate chips.  If pushed really hard, I can eventually accept eating it with diced fruit such as apples or pears, but that starts moving oatmeal back into the sucky realm for me.

Interestingly, the book I'm reading right now, The End of Overeating, talks a lot in the inital chapters about how addictive the fat-sugar combination is.  Adding in chocolate makes it even more so.  No wonder I like my version of oatmeal so much!