NorCal Katie is one of my inspirations. This chick has been through some serious shit and survived. Most of the time she'll tell you she's better than before the shit storm that hit her life but like all of us, there are times when she needs help. This week she posted about being willing to ask for help.
After reading her post, my first thought was, "Um, hello? I need some help right now." What's going on? Well, here's the deal:
Last year I got totally on track and was super-committed to getting healthy. I was fed up with my weight gain from the previous several stressful years and a bit freaked out by getting the results of a cholesterol test and elevated blood pressure readings. In just four months, I lost 45 pounds, got my blood pressure down to normal (100/60) and dropped my cholesterol by 59 points. Then the holidays hit and totally derailed my momentum. This didn't surprise me as I often struggle between Thanksgiving and the New Year.
However, here it is, months later, and I am still derailed and getting further and further from my health goals. It seems the harder I try to get back on track, the more my inner two-year-old rebels and insists on proving that I cannot do this. Obviously I need some help. I will actually be seeing some people that I could ask for help in a couple of weeks when I attend the Healthy You Network Symposium. A number of the speakers are really focused on getting people on track and helping them stay there.
The problem is that I'm embarrassed to ask for help. Yet again. You see, I'm one of those people that others tend to think is "mostly likely to succeed." In reality I often fail to meet their - and my own - expectations. So asking for help gets embarrassing, especially when it's not the first time I've needed help. It doesn't help that I've had several times when people I respected reacted with considerable disappointment when they found out I had not succeeded in the ways they were positive that I would. Way to make me feel like more of a failure, guys!
Anyway, right now the downward spiral I'm in feels like the swirling water draining out of a bathtub, going faster and faster as it is about to run out. Somebody throw me a plug, quick! And then help me fill the tub back up with fresh, healthy water.